Goblin: Oh gods, you’re headed downstairs! This is it! I’ve been waiting my whole life for this! excitedly weaves around feet as I descend
Me: Killing me on the stairs will not get you fed faster. weaving intensifies
Goblin: The can of prophecy! My ancestors spoke of such a thing! Give it! Me! It’s mine! Give it! It is for me right!? Food! Give it! Give it! Oh gods! For me? For me! Give it!… this goes on for a while
Me: Enjoy.
Goblin: This is the best thing I’ve ever had, I will savour this meal for…
Me: I’m going upstairs to strip the sheets for the wash.
Goblin: That’s my favourite thing! Wait for meeeeeeeeeeeeee! leaves food mostly uneaten